{Day 18} Ping-Pong Thoughts

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.”

Isaiah 26:3-4 (ESV)

From the journal . . .

Feeling unsettled in the aftermath of the interview, I’m having one of those days where it feels like my thoughts are playing ping-pong from all the if-this-then-this but if-this-then-that planning going back and forth in my mind that just will. not. stop.

It’s exhausting.

I’m fairly certain I could whip up an impressive multi-column, color-coded masterpiece of a spreadsheet to map out these hypothetical plans if I was so inclined. But I’m not. Yet.

And the only place in the plans that brings any peace is complete surrender to HIM.

My spreadsheets have nothing on the artistry of His Master Plan anyways.

So I force myself into quiet. Even though I don’t feel quiet, even though I don’t feel peace, I start to pray.

And as the words come out of my mouth, somewhat forced at first before beginning to flow more freely from my heart, as I recall Scripture, as I recall His goodness and faithfulness.

It may not all be perfect, it may not all make sense.

But I can know rest. Because I know Him.

And I can release the details of the spreadsheet to Him. Because He never really asked for my help with the plan to begin with. He just said to follow.