Some days, the what-ifs and I-don’t-knows of this feel overwhelming. Even a little dark. Like swimming through murky waters just below the surface. I can’t quite see my way out.
Questions of the alternatives hang in the balance.
But maybe I’m supposed to sit with the tension, the conflict, the trial, a little longer. Each day realizing even more that this is out of my hands. It was never really in them anyways.
The facade of control crumbles.
The attempt to manage and maintain fails.
But the message from Sunday’s sermon on James 1 rings loud and clear.
“Count it all joy, my brothers,when you meet trials of various kinds,for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 (ESV)
The trustworthy Words of the Lord are light in this darkness.
I can hear Him saying…
Trust Me. Be Steadfast. Rest. Find Joy. Not in your ability, but in Mine.
And I find myself desperately asking for wisdom (my word for this year). Because I just can’t do this on my own. I can’t even fix my gaze on Him without His power, His strength, His presence drawing me in, drawing me near, drawing me deep.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5 (ESV)
The burden to figure-out this life is not mine to bear. There’s really very little to figure-out. He’s already done that. He’s already planned, battled, and won.
The unknown is frightening and fear’s grip can be great, but the victory is secure, and the Victor’s grip is greater.