Category Archives: 31 Days (October 2012)

{Day 31} It’s About Resting More

“Behold, a king will reign righteously … And the work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.”

Isaiah 32:1, 17 (NASB)

It’s only in the quietness of soul … in the peace, in the rest … that perspective is rightly restored to full confidence in Him.

Because when my mind is working on overdrive, when I’ve got a tight grip on my own future plans, when I don’t make the effort to stop and spend time with Him, when I let go of the quiet, I believe the lie that I can do this on my own.

But in the quiet, I recognize my desperate need for Him. For His direction. For His peace. For His presence.

And from that place, I lean into Him. I trust Him. I depend on Him in full confidence. Because He is. And He always will be.

This quiet confidence … this life … it’s not about trying harder. It’s about resting more.

{Day 30} Fix Your Hope

“Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

1 Peter 1:13 (NASB)

Hope. Faith. Confidence.

In Christ alone.

In His grace. In His promises. In His faithfulness.

“Oh, my hope is in the Lord, forevermore…”

{Day 29} I Don’t Serve a Small God…

“…for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose.'”

Isaiah 46:9-10 (ESV)

I don’t serve a small God … so why do I act like it?

When I think I have to write the details of my own story, I act like I serve a small God.
When I act like taking a wrong turn on this faith journey is the end, I act like I serve a small God.
When I worry so much about and agonize over which direction is right, I act like I serve a small God.

But just because His timing is different than mine, just because He allows me to make mistakes that ultimately draw me into deeper dependence on Him, just because I don’t perfectly understand what He’s doing or where He’s leading, just because I can’t see the whole picture, doesn’t mean He’s a small God.

Quite the contrary.

He’s such a big and mighty and powerful God that He knows each detail from beginning to end. He knows how all the pieces fit together because He sees the big picture … the whole picture … while I can only see one very small miniscule part.

He knows the eternal story because He wrote it.

I’ve spent far too much time worrying about what comes next in my story.

But this quiet confidence.

It doesn’t worry.

Because there is peace in His presence and confidence in Him who holds tomorrow.

{Day 26} A Formal Close

“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”

Psalm 43:5 (ESV)

After settling into the realization that the type of position I had been working towards was pretty much off the table and that the chances of a similar position becoming available in the near future were slim to none, I honestly wasn’t sure if I would hear from the missions organization again.

The end of the month was fast approaching, and it was my understanding that if I hadn’t heard anything by then, I wouldn’t be receiving an invitation to attend the required orientation the next month.

However, a short time later, I did receive an invitation, but because there still wasn’t a likely opportunity for placement, I turned it down … ultimately withdrawing my application from “active” status and bringing this process to a formal close.

I was disappointed, yes, though honestly not to the extent I would have expected.

And while it was tempting to view this almost-six-month process as wasted time … or even failure … I choose to trust that the Lord had and/or has a purpose even for that.

I choose to trust that if this wasn’t where He was leading, He will faithfully guide to the right thing, and if serving in vocational missions is still the right direction, then He’ll provide a different way.

Because I knew (and know) that God was (and IS) the same. Still sovereign. Still good. Still in control.

{Day 25} I Wish I Could Tell You…

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)

I wish I could tell you that after reading that email and realizing this was not going as I had expected (um, at all), I immediately got on my knees before the Lord in quiet confidence, acknowledged His sovereignty, laid my heart out before him, and entrusted the “what now?” to Him.

But I didn’t.

Oh, ultimately I did get before the Lord, but only after first reacting rather poorly. Seriously. In that moment, on that day, I was a hot mess about the whole thing. Just ask my mother.

And in the next several days that followed, I was anything but confident … in the Lord’s direction thus far, in my ability to hear His voice, in how to discern where He was leading next, in how to follow His plan.

I was spiritually and mentally exhausted.

But His grace was sufficient in the midst of that weakness … my weakness.

{Day 24} You Have to Know French

“And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.”

Psalm 39:7 (NASB)

What was I supposed to do with that?!?

Well, I did take a breath, and then I sought clarification.

I sent an email back to my placement coordinator, once again pointing out the specific position that I had initially inquired about.

It wasn’t that I had no interest in changing my ministry focus if that was where the Lord was leading (and I was desperately trying to figure out where, exactly, He was leading in all of this), but at the same time, I felt no peace about completely turning away from a specific ministry aspect that was part of the initial position that had first compelled me to pursue this process in the beginning.

And her response to the clarification:

“I saw this one, but you have to know French well!”

Since I don’t know French at all, that certainly changed everything. . .