It’s been a hard few days. Not exactly bad, but hard.
I ended last week completely, mind-numbingly, feel-like-a-zombie exhausted. Then on Sunday afternoon, as I was finalizing preparations to teach a Bible Study lesson on marriage last night (which as a single, is not exactly my area of expertise), I was battling some intense and inexplicable frustration. Then yesterday, as the pace of incoming work was so insane that I could barely keep up and my mind could barely process the cases that needed attention, I was left feeling overwhelmed. And bonus, my fridge died (gross!) and this morning I had an oh-so-fun orthodontist appointment that ended with my orthodontist saying to his assistant, “Stop. This isn’t going to work and we don’t want to hurt her or pop the bracket off or make her teeth any more sore. We’ll just finish it next time…”
In short, I have been dealing with some fierce and pervasive discouragement.
But y’all, in the moments when the zombie-like exhaustion and crippling discouragement have threatened to take over, God has repeatedly shown up (as if He ever left…)!
Not in dramatic or everything-immediately-becomes-so-much-better-and-easier ways, but in ways soft and subtle and full of truth…
Through the prayers and assistance of a sweet new friend at just the right time,
Through the constant reminders to pray when I have felt most out of control (just to be clear, that is NOT my typical first reaction, and the conviction in this regard has been poignant),
Through an encouraging Valentine’s Day card from the preschool ministry at church,
Through a thought-provoking and meaningful night of Bible Study despite the prior frustration and feelings of inadequacy, which ultimately led me to wholehearted dependence on Christ (which, ironically, was a huge emphasis in the study in regards to striving for a Biblical marriage),
Through a “Happy Valentine’s Day” text from a dear friend,
And even through a Skinny Mocha from Starbucks.
Yes, the past several days may have been hard and I may have been battling discouragement, but God is faithful and loving and SO good, and by His grace, I am not in this battle alone!
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)